The Yellow Shirt

Well,

hey all, It's been about 11 days now since the operation, and I've been in bed all day 9 and 1/2 times out of 11 of them. While my knee recovery is going great (actually better than great, Its going ridiculously fast and am really thankful). I've had a really shitty past couple of weeks in other areas. So shitty that honestly I didn't think I was going to be able to write on this blog again... My last blog that I wrote, I wrote out of a feeling and being somewhere I care not to go to again. Call me Jaded but I feel worn out, exhausted, angry, but worst of all hopeless, having to give up on certain feelings is horrible, and it seems like it just keeps happening to me. It's not an easy funk to get out of, and like I said, its affected me in a not very positive way. To the point where I was ready to jump on here and let you all know that I was done, plain and simple. Lying in bed and literally having all day to over think things isn't fun, specially when what your thinking about hurts you. It plays games with you head and makes you feel worse than you probably should. Luckily as I had mentioned my recovery is going great, so great that wednesday I was actually able to get out of the house for the first time. It was like breathing for the first time in a long time, and well it leads me to the topic of my blog today. The Yellow shirt.

I'd say about 5 years ago, I bought this Yellow shirt from a shop downtown. It was a little to baggy, and little to big but It was the comfiest shirt I could remember ever having. About 2 and half years ago, a bunch of my friends from work and I went to the annual Strathmore Stampede to do the running of the bulls, It was kind of a way to celebrate one of the last times we would ever have to hang out together as the summer was ending and a bunch of us were going our own way. And if you don't believe that I actually ran with the bulls, well here you go

This was me barely dodging out of the way of a huge bull. This was right after my buddy Scotty had gotten levelled by the same bull and his friend, They were named Dumb and Dumber, and they had just singled us out on the other side of the corral. As they were running towards us we knew one of us was going to get pummelled, luckily I was just a little faster then Scotty. Fortunately for him the judges decided he got hit so badly that they awarded him with the 1000 dollar prize of the evening. Just like they did every night, the only difference was when Scotty got up to address the crowd as the winner, unlike the man who had won the night before and who felt it was okay to tell everyone including the children that he was going to spend the money on booze, drugs and sex ( haha ) Scotty was very respectful. And very much concussed haha.

Anyways I digress, the weekend we spent in Strathmore ended up being a success, we won 1000 dollars, survived a freak thunderstorm. But most of all, it just was an awesome time spent with

each other. But a few days later after I had gotten back home that realized my favourite yellow shirt was missing. I looked high and low for that shirt, my moms house, my house, grandmas house, everyones car, but no luck. To this day every once in a while I hop on eBay or any other online clothing store that might have it. I still go to the same store where I originally got it and hope every time that I go in that it might be hanging there on the wall. Well as I said earlier few days ago, I was finally able to get out of the house for the first time since my operation. It was an awesome day, I met up with a buddy for lunch, and afterwards headed for the comic book store to pick up some comics. I then decided to pop by my work real quickly to say hi to a few friends, and then feeling a little home sick I decided to go to my home and see if anyone of my room mates were in. Now when I got there I was completely alone, so naturally I went straight to my room and jumped on my bed which I miss so so so much. It was then when I noticed a suit case on my couch, and remembered that I had told my friend Paul who was visiting from Victoria that he could stay in my room. I got back up and found myself in front of my desk where I found a note which said " Dear andrew, a mutual friend of ours "Scott" is moving and giving away a bunch of clothing, I saw this shirt and took it thinking of you. Scott then said " oh yea I think thats Chappell's"." I lifted the piece of paper and to my surprise laying there, nicely folded in all of its glory was my yellow shirt...

Two and half years later an there it was, I couldn't believe it!! Now I'm not one to usually become attached to something material specially clothing but after I found the shirt I started looking through some old pictures where I was actually wearing the shirt and began realizing that some of these pictures held some really good times in them. This shirt was around when I was meeting and making the friends I have today,

the same friends who are helping me get through the stuff I'm dealing with now. I remember this first time I ever had my heart broken, and running off to Victoria for the weekend with my two best friends. It was probably one of the funnest weekends I had ever had. I just remember feeling that things might just be okay. But I also remember the drunken mess we got our selves into that weekend haha.

Some things I don't Remember...

Some things I'd rather not haha

I know I'm really stretching here, I mean Im just finishing up writing a blog about a shirt... And yea at the end of the day it is just a shirt, I got along fine without it and will get along fine with it I guess lol. But the real message Im trying to pull out of my ass here is the same message that's on the shirt.

"I can't wait for the future"

Cheesy? Yes. Corny? Hell yes! But true none the less. This is the same shirt that Im wearing in the picture I chose as my banner for my blog, the same blog that I was ready to give up on because of how I'm feeling. If I lost this shirt again tomorrow, I'd honestly be okay, I'm just glad that something nice happened, something to remind me that it's not all bad, even though thats how it may seem. Do I still feel exhausted? Angry? worn out? Yea I really do lol, that might not change for a while, but hopeless? Not so much anymore :) Thanks for reading all. Talk to you soon!

P.S.

I really wasn't lying when I said not much had happened since my last update, I think its all clear to you that I am an emotional wreck right now as I just wrote a blog about a shirt haha. So what I've decided to do to help is to grow my movember moustache, which I do believe is coming in quite nicely. This is the first year I've actually tried growing a moustache. Now its not the thickest but I think were it lacks in fullness, it more than makes up for it in sheer perviness.

(11 days)

Chaps.