The big day came and went yesterday, and I'm happy that I'm alive (barely) and well (feeling like crap) haha.
Yesterday started off with me showing up at the hospital with my grandma around 615 am. By this time I was exhausted as I had once again decided not to pack until the last second, and that clearly sleep was not a necessity before my operation... BIG mistake.
I got there, and was taken to my bed pretty quickly, were I was greeted by my nurse Lauri, who had just been transferred to the hospital, and was still getting to know everyone. She was super nice and did a really good job with my IV (which was nice because I've had some pretty bad experiences in the past).
Anyways as some of you might know my original surgery date was about a month and half ago, but due to some unfortunate events ( I ate a stupid sandwich ) I wasn't able to get it done that day, and so it was rescheduled for today. Now with all that drama I was really hoping that the day would go smoothly, and right of the bat... it didn't. I laid there in my bed while nurse after nurse, doctor after doctor kept coming up to me and asking me if it was true that I had eaten a sandwich. Some actually didn't even ask, they would just show up and tell me that they wouldn't be able to operate on me today due to me eating a sandwich. Confused as to why I kept having to explain myself to everyone, and a little upset because by this time they had made me shave my leg hair (AGAIN), I found out that they still had my original admittance chart from my last visit which clearly stated that I had eaten a sandwich and was unable to go to surgery.
Finally after having everything sorted out, the time had come for the operation, by this time my heart was pounding! While I was being taken to the OR the two new nurses that would be in the OR with me could clearly see i was starting to get nervous. They took me inside laid me down on that creepy operating table... The one that looks like a crucifix
, and hooked me up to monitors. Now I dont know if you've ever had the pleasure of being hooked up to heart monitor but I personally hate it! I find being able able to hear my own heartbeat on the monitor to be really creepy. And seeing as how my heart was racing so fast, the machine was going crazy as well, which in turn would make me even more nervous then I already was haha. But the anesthesiologist put his first batch of cocktails in me, and I could immediately feel its effects. It felt as though all my veins and muscles were contracting and expanding and for a few seconds it actually really hurt, but then the numbness kicked in, and as they put the mask over my mouth, the nurse looked at me and said, "My name is... " and for the life of me I can't remember her name.
I woke up two hours later, (around 1130am) and was feeling horrible, just horrible. I was nauseous, dizzy, had a head ache and felt so very soar. It took a while before they could wheel me back to my ward where my new nurse laura was taking care of me. I quickly fell right back asleep for a few hours and when I came to and leaned over and grabbed my phone from my drawer. My nurse quickly spotted that I was awake and came up to and had asked me the weirdest question. She asked me if I had a girlfriend? Well actually first she asked me how I was feeling, and then asked me if I had a girlfriend. Now she was definitely cute, but also definitely a little old for me. She could tell right away that i had miss understood the question all and was quick to correct herself. She told me that as they were wheeling me back into my room I was asking for a girl. Not going to mention her name (we'll just call her MysteryGirl)... I Guess. The only other thing I could think of later was back to when the nurse put the gas mask on me and told me her name, and while didn't consciously hear it, maybe subconsciously I did?Either way it was really weird, I guess I asked for this Myterygirl several times before i just passed right out. Embarrassed over the hole thing I told her that I didn't have a girlfriend, and played aloof the hole situation as I really didn't feel like explaining myself. She quietly smiled at me and told me that this kind of thing happens all the time, and that once a woman was singing "shake that booty on her way out". She also said that it was to bad and called me the "handsomest man in ward 22"! haha we had a laugh and she took a picture of me with my iphone that i was clutching with my hands.
Most handsomest man in Ward 22. - Nurse.
After all this a few of my friends had texted me and so I started replying back, my grandmother had returned and asked if it was okay for me to go home. They told her that it was still to early and that they just wanted to make sure I was okay. Which at the time other than some nausea and soreness I was. My grandma left me once again and I returned back to sleep, and what happened next was probably one of the scariest things to have ever happened to me. I woke up from my sleep to find myself gasping for air, I could barely move and no matter how deep a breath I took, it felt as though I wasn't getting any air at all. I looked for my buzzer in a panic but before I could find it, the nursed had come to me with an oxygen tank and a mask with a small tube attached to it and put it in my mouth. I had never felt so relieved and yet so scared in my entire life. I laid there for about 30 to 40 mins with this mask on me thinking to myself "am i breathing on my own? or is this thing doing it for me?" Eventually a doctor came and removed the mask and told me that everything was okay, that these things happen some times, and that it was normal, but I was going to have to stay for a few more hours. By this time it was around 4pm and feeling completely alone, I texted my mother to come get me, knowing full well I wouldn't be able to leave.
When my mother and grandmother finally did show up, they found me in a totally normal and stable condition, and to this moment don't really know what happened... well kinda. I was thinking to myself I just wanted to go home, and there was no need to worry them about something that apparently was very "normal". Around 6pm the told me that I could go, and just before i started getting dressed my third nurse of the day, ( I can't remember her name ) asked me if I had gone the washroom? I told her no, and that I didn't feel like I had to. But apparently it is hospital policy not be able to leave until you can show that you can vacate your bladder as the morphine can affect this. Frustrated with everything, and just wanting to go home I went to washroom and tried to pee, but my efforts were futile as nothing came out, I laid back down, finished my water and my ginger ale, in hopes that in a few minutes I could muster a few drops and get the hell out of there. I got up once again and tried to do the business but yet again was denied. Positive that there was just nothing in there, i told the nurse that I just didn't have to go. She told me to sit tight and grabbed the sonar scanner and scanned my bladder, she informed me that not only did i have full belly, that if couldn't urinate in the next 2o mins she was going to be forced to have to put in a catheter... A CATHETER! There was no way in HELL I was going to let her put one of those things up my urethra.
In a panic I grabbed my empty glass of water took it with me to the washroom and filled it with extremely hot water. I sat down on the toilet and put my entire hand in the glass and began to pray to the porcelain gods to let me pee! Unfortunately the only thing secreting was a single tear down my left cheek when absolutely no pee came out. Defeated once again, I made my way out of the washroom only to see my nurse at the end of my bed with this long thick tube being unravelled. It was at this moment where either my prayers where answered, or... I was so scared I literally almost pee'd my gowned. I crutched myself back in the washroom, slammed the door an had what i can honestly say was the single greatest pee in my entire life, and probably yours =).
Soaking in victory ( pun INTENDED) I got myself dressed and after a very, very unpleasant ride home I got into bed, poped some percocet, had some chicken noodle soup and went to sleep. Today being day 1.2 I've really done nothing but sleep eat and attempt to write this blog. Its a little tough since im still really drowsy, but tommorow i'm hoping to make my dent on this large stack of books I have.
But until tomorrow, thanks for listening!
Andrew.
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